an apology and a promise.

Dear Blog Readers,

I must apologize to you, for my unexpected absence over the past week, and for letting you down.

I would like to say that I won’t let it happen again.

But in all actuality, I kind of hope it will.

In relationships we always let one another down at some time or other.

And I hope your reading and my writing becomes a relationship.

What I can promise is that I will try with all my might to not have any pre-meditated any absences or let downs.

I wish I had something important as an excuse for why I was gone for this past week of blogging, but I don’t. Everyday life was trudging along at what felt like breakneck speed. And by the time I would get to thinking I needed to blog, I just couldn’t bring myself to muster the energy to do a post worthy of you all.

The week was filled with great joys, including Eleonore’s first Thanksgiving, and my Grandmother Molloy’s 81^st Birthday (more on both of these later in the week).

I don’t have much energy right now either if I am honest with all of you. My bundle of bubbly energy is going to turn one soon, and all her developmental advances are causing sleep patterns to be WACKY!

 I will leave you with a few photos that were taken while celebrating Thanksgiving with part of Nate’s family!

 It is so good to be back in the blogging saddle, and I look forward to sharing more exciting and (hopefully) insightful posts with you on a regular basis.

peace to you,

meredith

                                  

                                       

Wedding Week Day 5-"Theology" of a Marriage

After six years if there is one thing I have learned, it is that you cannot label your marriage, and you can't define it.

You might have an understanding of your Faith, that there are non-negotiables, and the rest is up for discussion. I think Marriage (as we are told it should be) when modeled after our relationship with God has to look like that.

When we were married we had our good friend Miles (also the man who hired us both that fateful first summer at East Bay, pretty integral person!) read an excerpt from who else? Madeleine L'Engle!

This was it:
"Ultimately there comes a time when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created. To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling."


We still aspire to this vision of a marriage today, EVERY day. It's a choice. The choice isn't always easy, the choice isn't always fun. But you choose, because you have made a commitment before God to that other person. And when you don't make the right decision, you look to that person, and are amazed when they have the strength to give you the grace you don't deserve, and equally amazed when you have grace to give to them. There is so much freedom, as Madeleine says, in those choices. 


For freedom Christ has set us free. 


Such a responsibility in this freedom. And not just in the confines of a marriage or romantic relationship. In each friendship, each family member, each stranger, each enemy. 


It's exhausting, but we are called to be in community for a reason.
Because it's still going to be exhausting, but when others can help hold up our hands it makes it easier to love others as we start to get tired.

I love you Nathanial Ryan Hopping, and look forward to six-TY more years of holding each others hands up to love each other and the world around us.

peace to you,
meredith

Wedding Week Day 4-The Wedding (Continued)

Our wedding ceremony was probably my favorite part of the whole wedding.

We were so blessed by the community that came together to make it happen and to support us in our commitment to God and one another.

One of my favorite parts of the wedding was the "soundtrack".

First we had a full praise service-

1.) Come Thou Fount

2.) Great is Your Name

3.) Be Thou My Vision

4.) Though I may speak

5.) Memorial Candles were lit/Grandparents were seated to Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead played by a string quartet.

6.) Mothers were seated to Sheep May Safely Graze by Bach.

7.) Bridesmaids/My processional to Only Hope by Switchfoot

8.) Nate sings an original song I hadn't heard yet!

9.) We recess to what started as The Bridal March but morphed into "Good Love"

It was so randomly and perfectly us. 

I look back at the words of "Though I may speak":

Though I may speak with bravest fire
And have the gift to all inspire
And have not love, my words are vain --
As sounding brass -- and hopeless gain.

Though I may give all I possess
And, striving so, my love profess
But not be giv'n by love within,
The profit soon turns strangely thin.

Come, Spirit, come; our hearts control.
Our spirits long to be made whole.
Let inward love guide ev'ry deed;
By this we worship and are freed.

it is a hymn I haven't sung since our wedding day six years ago, and I find myself struck by what little that 21 year old girl/woman (still feel like a girl/woman, but that is for another post, at another time!) knew of what true, real, hard, life, love looked like and would look like. And yet I/she knew enough that there was truth to these words, that something resonated with what this marriage thing was supposed to look like. What a gift. what joy, what bliss, this deep true friendship and community I have been given in my husband is!
I am so aware of how "lucky" I am. So grateful.


And often times when I laugh so hard that I fart in bed, because of the hilarious things he says, I half expect a parent to come in and tell us to be quiet, that it's time to go to sleep, because I don't know how I got to have a sleepover with my best friend every night, I feel like I must be doing something wrong to have so much fun and get to spend every waking moment with my best friend.


Bet you didn't expect me to talk about farting, but that's how I roll. 
Or better yet, how WE roll!




peace to you,
meredith

Wedding Week-Day 3 The Wedding

We got done with Bible Study and it is late so I am posting pictures now, and more on the wedding tomorrow!

My favorite individual pic of my love. 

He still rocks a newsboy cap like nobody's business.

My favorite individual pic of myself.

Tres dramatique, no?

Right after the ceremony, so excited!

Leaving the church! 

Our First Dance to "The Luckiest".

More to come tomorrow!

peace to you,

meredith

Wedding Week Day 2-The Proposal

It was Valentine's Day 2004. I was soooo excited because I had never been "dating" anyone on Valentine's day and this would be my chance to grasp the Hallmark holiday in full glory!

Nate had other plans, or so he led me to believe.

At the time we were both undergrads majoring in Theatre. Nate was at WIU and I was at ISU. We saw each other EVERY single weekend during our dating/engagement, which can now admittedly be chalked up to some OCD on my part. 

He was in a production of Phaedre as Theseus. 

Right off I was ticked. 

I have waited 20 years to have a date on Valentine's Day and I HAVE TO GO SEE A TRAGEDY ON VALENTINE'S DAY!?!?

This seems really fair. . .

and it just kept getting worse. 

My family was going to see the show that night, Nate's Mom was coming that night, Nate's brother and childhood friends were coming that night.

Fabulous. Perfect setup for a romantic night. Exactly what I was picturing. 

To try to make up for this Nate asked me to come early to his dorm room, so we could exchange gifts. 

I had been meticulous about his gift. It had numerous parts, with numerous nuances and meanings.

When I got to his dorm room, he handed me a card made of notebook paper and suggested we watch Edward Scissorhands. 

No words. I was fuming on the inside. 

I got to the play. I was greeted by my family, Nate's family & friends, and other students I knew. The play was pretty packed and I looked around for a seat. Quickly the director Stephen came and ushered me to a seat they had saved for me, which was weird. 

I watched the play. My man was amazing, because he is an amazing actor! 

During the curtain call Nate began to take off part of his costume. I turned to my future sister in law and said:

"Why is he taking off his costume? This is sooo unprofessional, it's embarrassing."

Someone brought out a stool and a guitar. 

Nate sat down and said:

"I didn't want everyone to celebrate Valentine's Day with a tragedy, so I wrote a song for the love of my life Meredith Joy Owens".

A collective awwww went through the crowd. I too awed. 

But then came the last line of the song. . .

"You have changed my life, may I have the honor of making you my wife?"

The audience was hushed, other than the one guy who apparently wasn't in on the plan. 

He yelled out:

"OH SHIT!"

That snapped me back to reality, Nate came down the aisle, got on one knee, and officially proposed. 

I of course said yes, and we all went out to pizza. 

Despite the less than intimate circumstances, it was the most romantic Valentine's Day anyone could imagine!

peace to you,

meredith

I don't have any pictures of the engagment on this computer, 

but this was right around the same time!

True. Young. Love.

meredith

Wedding Week Day 1-How we met

This Saturday (November 19th) will mark the 6th year Nate and I have been married.

WHOA!

To try to grasp how long this is, it would be like making it in the same relationship for all of Junior High and High School. . .

I realize that this isn't the point, but it does give you a tangible way to grasp the length of time.

I have dubbed this wedding week, where I will take time to highlight different aspects of our relationship so far!

Monday-How we met
Tuesday-The Proposal
Wednesday-The Wedding (worked out well alliteration wise eh?)
Thursday-Where we have been
Friday-Where we are going


It was the Summer of 2003. I had come home from my freshman year at Millikin University and had already made plans to transfer to Illinois State University, switching from Music to Theatre. It had been a wonderful year of finding myself thanks to so many wonderful people, and an asset was that many of those wonderful people introduced me to wonderful music. I needed a job, and had slacked off in those efforts. My wonderful friend (and future Maid of Honor) Michelle, suggested that I should work at East Bay Camp on Lake Bloomington. I had been to EBC many times as a child and adolescent, but something about being stuck at camp for weeks at a time seemed suffocating, and I was hesitant. I wasn't working hard at finding anything else, so EBC it was. Miles Price (an amazing friend and future reader at our wedding) hired me to be in charge of implementing a new daily day camp.

So I begrudgingly took my dyed black hair, blunt cut banged, industrial ear pierced, vintage track jacket wearing, Norma Jean/Flaming Lips listening self to the first day of orientation and training.

It was June 6, 2003

All the counselors had assembled, except for one.

In came this tornado with a sideways cap, hoop earrings, thick black glasses, tattoos and a soul patch. He didn't seem phased by being late, and just jumped right into the conversation.

I just thought COCKY,COCKY,COCKY, cute, but, COCKY, COCKY, COCKY.

Well, thinking the cute boy was cocky wore off pretty quick.

We flirted (a lot).

We prayed together (a lot).

We read the Bible together (a lot).

And by the end of the Summer, we were already talking about marriage.

This was overwhelming for me in so many ways. I had a list of I never's that I have talked about before. This was when I knocked the first two out of the park. Nate was the first guy I had ever dated that was shorter than me, and he had experienced a call to pastoral ministry.

1.) I will never marry a guy who is shorter than me
2.) I will never marry a minister
3.) I will never live in Bloomington-Normal permanently after school

2 out of 3. . .for a time.

I had never been serious enough about a guy to have the "meeting of the family".
I was terrified. A twin brother who was the president of his Christian Fraternity who was engaged to a beautiful petite art major, and a Mother who was a music teacher, but also a ridiculous composer and musician.

The first time I met Jake and Kenz was in Peoria at Ruby Tuesday's. I think I cried most of the way there begging Nate to take me back because I was so petrified.

When I met them, they were great and so nice. But I did notice they looked at me a little odd when we first walked in. I was already PLENTY self conscious about our height difference. I am 6ft. he is 5'8, and figured they just thought we looked funny together. Later that evening we went to meet his Mom and stay the weekend. She too gave me an odd look.

What I found out years later is that Nate said this to his family right after we met.

"Mom, Jake, I think God wants me to marry a big girl."

So why the odd looks? They weren't expecting someone tall, they were expecting someone overweight. They thought I was a new girl, and they were obviously perplexed since he had talked about marrying the "big girl".

He hasn't ever lived that one down, probably never will.

I'm glad God wanted him to marry this "Big Girl". Very glad.

peace to you,
meredith

Can you spot the two love birds? 

A staff picture our first summer together.

Photo Friday-Tattoo Inspiration

I have been debating for so many years now about getting a tattoo. My husband has a few :), and I have been itching lately for some ink.  These pictures are some inspiring ones to me, and you can also find them on my Pinterest!

The problem is, ever since I met him, and ever since I have seen his amazing artwork on Nate, I have only wanted one person to do my tattoos, if I ever got them.

That person is Jimmy.  He now lives in Eugene, Oregon. And that makes a tattoo REALLY expensive. Although a total bonus would be visiting Mindy Rawlins and The Blair Family.

Trying to justify, trying to justify, trying to justify.

Do these images inspire you as they do me?

Really want this on my body and on everything I own (with even more labels added in!). 

What a vital reminder in a walk with Christ about loving everyone, 

because we so DO NOT deserve the love we have been given. 

But maybe my forehead would be too much? :)

 What do you see when you look at this?

 If you don't see a hat, you know why this is so lovely and meaningful. 

If you do see a hat, go read Le Petit Prince, and have your spirit lifted and outlook changed. 

I have always been incredibly drawn to shepherd/sheep imagery when it comes to my relationship with Christ. 

This image is a visual representation of something far more amazing, 

but it grants a little understanding for my feeble mind. 

Mother and Child, Mother Mary and Christ, Father God and His Children. 

This sculpture is so beautiful to me, 

it encompasses such intimate, passionate, nurturing relationships.

These are just a few inspiring images. Don't worry, you won't see all of them on my person any time soon (ferociously types in search engine "Cheapest Way to get to Oregon").

peace to you,

meredith